Monday, December 29, 2008

ESIA? eok.

wahai org2 yg pke esia. selamat kalian telah terjebak dalam bapuknya cara kerja operator tersebut.

jd gini ceritanya.
orang nelpon dr luar kota k jakarta pke fitur gogo yg ada 01010nya. g ada stgh jam pulsa abis 25rb! nice dong? gw tlv lah customer service nya dan gw nanya ttg masalah tsb.

kebapukan 1 :
gw dtanya nomernya dan dya g blg itu nomer stlh gogo atw sblm. so klimpungan lah gw nyari krn gw g apal dan susah ngliatnya d hp esia gw klo lg dpke nlv. gw tanya "mas g bs dtrace dr dialled call saya aja?" lalu dya menjawab "wah klo fitur itu kami tidak bisa mbak". hmmm. i'm kinda wondering, isn't that the simplest thing they could do, u know, trace numbers?? bahkan ini kn dr nomer esia gw sndiri, or they don't even have callerID for their own customers?? atau emang smw cara kerja operator d indonesia bgtu? ok ini msh bs ditolerir krn mungkin emg gw nya yg kurang pengetahuan.

kebapukan 2 :
setelah gw susah2 nyari nomer luar kotanya, tau2 dya blg "nomer aslinya mbak". ngekk. why didn't u say so??????
for the record, dya udh nanya "nomer jakarta atau luar?" "jakarta tp udh gogo mas" "sudah diaktifkan gogonya?" "Ya" "brapa nomernya?" nahh gw asumsikan dya mnta nomer yg UDAH GOGO DONG. tnyata gw berasumsi salah. ok msh bs ditolerir.

kebapukan 3 :
gw tanya, "mas tmen saya itu nelpon k jakarta sudah pakai 01010 tp kok bru stgh jam udh abis 25rb ya?"
"mohon ditunggu 30 detik ya coba kami baca datanya"
tik tok tik tok. dan gw mrasa itu lebih dr 30 detik. klo emg butuh 5 mnt y blg aja lah 5 mnt gw tungguin kok. but then again, maybe i was the one at fault.

kebapukan 4 :
"yak sudah saya baca datanya mbak, tapi semua tarif normal kok mbak".
"Nah tapi kok bs gtu, 25rb abis dlm wkt krg dr stgh jam? Untuk tarif lokal aja g msk akal lho mas."
"Gtu ya mbak?"
"Iya tuh mas"
"Data yg kami punya baru sampai pukul 18.00 tadi dan sampai pukul 18.00 semua tarif berlaku normal."
(gw nlv skitar jam 21.02)
... gw jg tau smpe jm sgtu normal krn komplainnya bru stgh jam yg lalu.
"emangnya hanya punya sampai jam sgitu mas?"
tell me something, do all other operators work with this system? THIS SLOW SYSTEM??

kebapukan 5 :
"lalu bagaimana kalau saya mau tau untuk data yg barusan?"
"mbak telpon 4 atau 5 jam lg aja"
nice. i can do the math, but i'm SHOCKED to find that he really recommended me to call at 1 or 2 in the morning?

ahh. ruined my mood bgt esia.
kbanyakan iklan sih. sok murah tp layanannya acakadul.

Saturday, December 6, 2008


What is the purpose of love stories? Is it to make us--me, in essence--hopeful? Hopeful for what? Such stories?

No such thing ever happens. No knight in shinning-armor, no true love that lasts until the end of time. Heck, no ever-so-charming 17 year old vampire that comes to your bedroom every night watching you sleep and making sure nothing bad comes your way.

I hate a perfect love story.
and I think I've grown more skeptical each day.

The more I see it in movies and read in books, the more I believe that's where they belong. Stories. Folklores. Fairy tales.

Real life are for heartbreaks and, well, maybe something that lasts a little while.

So there's that.
An ending for today.
Sleep tight, dreamers.

Imagine :
I live in one of L.J. Smith's books. :)

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Dentist Business

Hmmm. Ini udah keberapa kalinya ya pencabutan gigi gw TERTUNDA.
Dua minggu lalu karena gw sm bokap gw sama-sama lupa. Minggu lalu gw udh dateng k dokter giginya tapi om gw (yg merangkap dokter gigi gw) nggak praktek hari itu. HARI INI gw udh dateng k kantor bokap gw dan begitu pantat gw nempel di bangku ruangannya, dia bilang "Barusan LADOKGI (tmpt klinik gigi gw) nelepon dan bilang Dr. Donny tiba-tiba dipanggil KASAL ke Cilangkap."

Gw g peduli KASAL adalah Kepala Angkatan Laut Indonesia, emang dia mau tanggungjawab klo gigi gw ga rapi-rapi gara-gara nggak dicabut-cabut??

Sebenernya yang bikin gw wondering adalah apa semua dokter gigi begini sibukk?

I think this is more painful than the removal itself. I have to feel anxious everytime I thought I was getting two of my teeth removed, and got tricked each time.


Imagine :
I didn't have the crazy idea of getting braces for my teeth two years ago. humph.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

UAS take home : karunia atau petaka??

baru kali ini gw menghadapi semester yang setengah ujiannya take home. Awalnya gw pikir "nice" karena gw bisa santai-santai ngerjain di rumah sambil ngemil-ngemil, nonton tv, pacaran. TERNYATA OH TERNYATA. Bahkan nyari topik makalah untuk 1 matakuliah pun susahnya setengah mati. Hampir kaya nyari topik untuk bikin skripsi (meskipun gw belom pernah mengalami bikin skripsi jadi nggak tau-tau amat gimana rasanya). Beberapa menit aja berkutat di MBRC bikin kepala gw mau meledak. Dari yang nggak punya pilihan topik sama sekali jadi punya banyak tapi masing-masing masih cacat dan nggak konkret. Akhirnya gw memutuskan ngambil topik yang ada hubungannya sama Jurnalisme Investigasi. Sampai sekarang belum ada judul pasti, baru rencana aja apa yang mau dibahas.
Sore ini pulang kuliah gw langsung buka laptop dan mulai mencoba mengerjakan tugas gw. Jarang-jarang nih, biasanya kalo buka laptop yang pertama kali diliat facebook. Mulailah gw mengerjakan, diawali dengan membuat cover sebagai penyemangat, lalu lanjut ke isi dengan melewatkan bab pendahuluan.
Lalu. Tokk. Baru 2 halaman. Buntu. Nggak punya bahan. Bingung.
Di tengah kebingungan gw,... something really nice came up.
My bf called me and told me to go outside. And then there he was, on his motorcycle. He gave me a bouquet of roses.
Today is our 8th month anniversary and I feel it's our best anniversary ever even though we didn't get a chance to go out. Instead of just being sweet, we were cheering each other to get our spirits running, helping to get through the day.

So now, I have an addition to help me with my struggle and it's lying on my bed as I try to get something typed into my paper assignment. :)

Happy 8th month Anniversary.

Imagine :
My paper gets the highest score in class. YAY!

Saturday, November 29, 2008

those awful words..

Too many things I tried to post lately that none of them actually get posted. For the first time in my life, I feel like I have so many things to say but no one would listen. I have wisdom to share, I have questions I want answered, but no one is there.
What is it about my words? Are they too insignificant? Don't I play a role in somebody's life? An irreplaceable spot that someone would miss once it's gone?
Or am I just a line in everybody's book, just bound to be read and then forgotten once the next line appears?
I feel so small.
I miss you.
Too badly that it scars me.
I miss someone who would listen. Not those who cover their ears and pretend no one's talking. Why did you close your door for me? I'm still here. I don't plan on going anywhere.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
How many times do I have to chant until you come back up to the door and open it again?
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

25 november 2008

aku tak lagi mengerti apa yang kurasa.
sakitkah? cemburukah?
atau hanya sekedar reaksi dari kata-kata?

tampar aku
agar tak sakit lagi jiwaku
agar terselubung yang ada di hati
segala emosi tertuang dan pergi takkan kembali

jangan takut,
aku tidak merasa apapun.

dan arti diamku bukan karena aku menangis
hanya sebuah penantian
sebuah jeda untuk sebuah harapan

hingga nanti, mungkin nanti
kamu akan percaya
aku hanya milikmu
dan untukmu
bukan untuk siapa-siapa

tanpa masa lalu

Thursday, November 20, 2008

what a week

These past few days had been crappy. Tasks coming simultaneously, an overdue dentist appoinment, my mom's yearbook project, and everything else. Truth is, I feel alone. I'm not complaining, but I think a company would be nice.
Right now I'm sitting in class with the prof. rambling. Argh. I can't wait for this week to end so I can get away and be around the people I'm comfortable with.

Ps. I miss you. A lot.

Friday, November 14, 2008

paradigma tak tersentuh


yang kupunya hanya ideologi-ideologi tak terwujud.
hanya paradigma tak tersentuh
yang nanti akan terbang lalu hilang ditelan waktu
aku hanya punya warna-warna yang memandu
hanya ada hati dan jiwa yang membawa

tidak, cinta.
rasanya dunia butuh sesuatu yang lebih
sesuatu yang bisa dilihat, disentuh, terraba.
sebuah piala kemenangan
atau medali di atas api

atau mungkin sekedar sesuatu yang indah, yang tak habis dikikis masa

what is it like to be living in a painting. dull and... imaginary.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008


aku sayang rangga.


I think maybe, just maybe, if I love someone enough he'll learn to love me just as much.

Monday, November 10, 2008

have you ever taken anything for granted?

One of the natures of human being is disregarding what they have until they realized it's gone.

There's been zillions of proof backing up this theory. I don't need to mention them one by one. It's physically impossible. I just need to understand why do we bare such curse. I've been in this position from time to time, fortunately not so often. And now I'm trying to cherish what I have the best I could so that I don't regret anything in the future. What I wanna ask you is, have you ever be in this position and you try everything to get it back?

If your answer is yes,
1. would you disregard the fact that what you're trying to get back is already retrieved by another person?
2. if you would, wouldn't you like to know how is it feel to be that other person?
3. do you HONESTLY think you will succeed, acting the way you are?

I'm not trying to be the judge of it all because I'm no saint, I'm no wiseman. As you might already notice in my blog I often question things that bother me. So these are just a series of rhetorical questions. I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad, and if someone's offended by this, do forgive me. I don't mean any harm.

Imagine :
letting go is the easiest thing a human have in his nature.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Sunday morning, not so lovely.

gila memang, dari semalem gw g bs tidur gara-gara perut gw dengan asyiknya bergemuruh mengajak gw bolak-balik ke kamar mandi. cantik. Jam 1 gw bangun, setelah tersadar bahwa gw nggak akan bisa tidur lagi, gw nyalain tv. Ehh kebetulan ada The Notebook! Yaa gw tonton saja, masih dengan perut yang terasa dikocok-kocok, and the ongoing trips to the bathroom.

Lagi-lagi gw nangis nonton The Notebook. There's just something about this movie that caught me off guard. These past few days, I've been feeling that the person I love doesn't love me back. Now I realize, he DOES love me. As a matter of fact, very much indeed. And I feel bad for doubting him. Despite his flaws, and mine, I think we'll be okay. :)

soo. back to my sunday morning, gw baru menyelesaikan tugas Bahasa Indonesia Jurnalistik dengan rentang 1 jam sebelum deadline. Yeay! Haduuuuuuuhh some time today, gw mau tiduuur!

imagine :
punya pintu kemana saja jd aku bisa langsung ke rumah kmu skrg nemenin kmu blajar. :P

Monday, November 3, 2008

lukisan hujan

no, gw nggak pernah baca buku ini so gw nggak ngerti maksud dari lukisan hujan apa, nor do I want to play smart-ass and try to intepret it.

Ini hanya sebuah istilah--or rather, a phrase--yang melintas di kepala gw baru saja. Hujan di luar.

I don't know, everytime it's raining I always think of him. I loooove rainy days, and as matter of fact, I rarely have an umbrella with me. ;)
Not that I plan to get wet, but... rain is harmless. I don't mind getting a bit wet, or catch a cold afterwards.

The sensation I feel when it's raining is almost similar to facing him. Truth is, I feel a lot closer to everything when it's raining. It feels like every problems in the world are washed away by something pure and undisturbed. Every noises are immersed into a very soothing static. The weather is cold, but not biting. It's dark but not gloomy.
I always hate it when someone said "there's always rainbow after the rain" as if trying to say that a rainbow is better than rainfall. Hell, a rainbow is just an optical illusion, made by God as a reference for us to tell colors. Don't get me wrong, I love colors, but I'm not a true believer of rainbows.

imagine :
watch the end of this commercial and you'll see what I mean.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

an ordinary morning. TOO ordinary.


it's been a few days since my last post.
a very cold morning, a lonely one, gets me thinking about a lot of stuff, things i'm not supposed to think about.

do you think i'm wrecked? negative? unable to do anything useful, or meaningful to you? well, the truth is, i'm not a saint. i don't say this to justify the way i am, i know i don't have as high values for my education and my social life as i should. easy to say i'm doomed. i don't know how i get up, for now i'll just think this would all be different by the end of the year.

hell, why does anyone has to be a certain way at the same time? i could be the most negative person you've ever met on one day, and the greatest optimist on the other. i don't understand why people expect so much out of me, out of themselves? to motivate us to do great things? i'm not saying that i don't need it, i'm just saying that particularly today, i'm sick.

i'm sick of disappointing people.
i'm sick of wanting to do something more when it seems like i can't.
i'm sick of trying to live up to everybody's expectations and end up feeling like a piece of garbage when i failed.

so maybe i'll just take this opportunity to sit back for a while.
afterall, i just wanna live my life the best i could, and be granted for it.

ps. i feel like i don't have the power to lift you up, like certain people do. it's a bit sad.

my imagination's shut down

Friday, October 24, 2008

I Have The Coolest Grandma Ever!

imagine :
a 90-ish year old grandma who can chat online using YM.


I am very proud to have a grandma like her. :P
She was chatting with my cousin who lives in UK and i can see that she was really excited to do so. her eyes got a little bit bigger every time something weird like emoticons or nudges came along. at first, my cousin didn't notice how slow she was typing so the conversation kinda got a little misleading. But then she understood, and we were back on track. it was a rather short conversation, but i can tell my grandma was very happy just to gain contact with my cousin. :) i'm happy to help her. we should do it again, eyang! love you!

Thursday, October 23, 2008

morning, morning, morning

good morning.

I'm friggin' bored with my college life.

i called you this morning, just to say hi and informed that i have no accounts left on my cellphones.
i miss u already.
somewhere down the line, i'm gonna sound corny and needy over u, but i can't help it.

imagine :
i have no classes for a week next week. yeayy!!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

I'm NOT my mistakes.

I know i've done a lot of bad things to people and to me.
I've hurt hearts.
I've done what I thought was right for me, regardless of anyone else's feelings.

but I'm NOT my mistakes.
I deserve to have a second chance, hell, I'm determined to have it.
And if I have to cry a thousand river, shed gallons of blood or rip my heart apart, then I'll go through with it.

Because my second chance came like a blessing in the form of a young man that feels like my other half. He's not just a boyfriend, he's a part of me.
He thinks he has hurt me several times, but the truth is he only made my heart a little bit stronger each day.
I don't need him to trust me, because I know I can trust myself.
I'm not afraid to love him excessively because i believe he deserves every love that i have to give. And if he fears that i might do stupid things, then i'll say he's blind.

Loving isn't giving everything you have, but giving what's best in you.
So in order to do that, I have to be the best of myself.

I'm not a fool.
I don't waste second chances.
Especially not you.
Sometimes I hope there's a bigger word than LOVE because love just doesn't describe how i feel.

PS. Guess What.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

midtest = vacation?

why not?
it goes for a week. four days to be exact. four days to focus on! four days i can rest my head and just think about one thing : study. yeah, i know. i might sound like a brainiac. i'm not, really. don't think that i'm even that smart anyway. i just think that for once in weeks, i get to relax and do things i already knew how to do over and over.

something i just realized, though. studying? NOT THAT HARD.
few subjects are a pain in the ass, sure, but why be scared of it?
the activity of studying (for tests, that is, not for life) only contains :
1. getting the will, the books, the pens and urself together
2. read, read, read, read, read
3. recall. do it by writing everything u've read on paper, or simply recite it.
4. get a good night sleep.
that's it. that's how i do it, and it always works. those times that i failed, mostly because i've failed step 1. but to be fair, step 1 is usually the hardest.

tonight, i've failed.
proof : i'm rambling on a blog instead of studying for midtest.
defense : this is a vacation. it's supposed to be loose. hell, enjoy it.

imagine :
i'm on a REAL vacation.
with him.
in Jogja. :)

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

friggin' sucks

I'm having a VERY BAD DAY.
enough said.

imagine :
I'm away for a year--or maybe two--to Ireland. I watch the blue skies everyday, i don't have college and all i do is farm chores. my friends are horses and sexy Irish musicians.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Anthro Evening in Effect

how often does it happen?
how COULD it happen during the full moon when night time is the hottest?
as if trying to get me for mocking anthropology this morning, tonight i'm forced to experience the tribal way of living. no electricity, no light, only the sound of my dad's guitar playing in the background of my family talking to each other.
maybe this is what we need sometimes, to remember where we came from, what used to be the definition of 'bonding', the primitive way of communication. not chatting through texts or screens, but face-to-face.

imagine :
Jakarta wasn't as humid and hot like today.

anthro morning

imagine :

pagi2 bengek g brenti2 gmw msk kuliah pertama ntr siang ada tes kcil antrop dan blom blajar sm skali bahkan bahanny smpe mana pun gtw. sudah dibayangkan? yakk selamat anda sedang merasakan simulasi menjadi mahasiswi ga becus.

huadooohh prasaan kmrn gw pny janji abis lebaran mw jd mahasiswa yg lebih baik. tp kok knyataanny malah jd lebih terpuruk y? ckckck. well, i'm mending.
ya Allah ini knp batuk g slse2 sih urusannya? lama2 tenggorokan gw bolong! OHOOKK OHOKK OHOOKK!!!


ngomong2 soal antropologi, knp matakuliah ini jd matakuliah yg paling g menarik bwt gw? bayangkan! dr sejak pertemuan pertama gw bru msk 2x! apakah?? apa ini karena memang topiknya g menarik minat gw, atw karena dosenny mirip nobita, atw karena terlalu banyak org2 yg ngajak cabut selalu pas matkul antrop? ckckck. anthropology is supposed to be a very interesting subject. don't we all wanna know what is HUMAN exactly? what cultural basics stand behind every interaction?

how arrogant are we, refusing to study our own backgrounds?

Monday, October 13, 2008

We're Smart People

what's the idealistic life? is it of which you can be happy? what's happiness? do we pursue it?

i just found out today that things aren't as bad as i thought they were. proven, my thought is my own, when i'm dealing with problems beyond myself i can't rely on it. i know things aren't even close to getting back to normal, but (to quote Sarah Jessica Parker in Smart People) "we'll figure it out right? we're smart people."

Jakarta : the city we love to hate.

imagine :

a city with a well-working public transportation system, less than 500 cars and 1000 motorcycles per day, clear air, perfect blue sky,..

it's NOT Jakarta.

good morning cosmo people.
i'm currently sitting in my friends car on my way to campus and guess what i found today! yep, our beloved Jakarta has returned to normal. polluted, jammed, sanity-tester Jakarta.
two to three weeks of peace we had in account of holidays has gone indeed. as my evil personality would have commented : they should've forbade people coming home from Jakarta to return if they don't have a house or even an inkling of a job here. well, hate Jakarta long enough maybe eventually they won't have any interest to come at all.

i'm getting closer to the so-called most prestigious university in the country. hmm.
so, until next time. stay sane will u?

Sunday, October 12, 2008

pretentious much?

imagine :

i stepped up and told the truth
how would everyone react?

i cried my heart out just because i feel like it
how would my eyes looked like?

i stopped pretending
would my happiness fade?