Anything I'm Not

I will never be, I will never be tall, no..
and I will never be, never ever be sure of it all
oh why's the world so cruel to me?
when all, all I ever wanna be was anything I'm not

give me a break, a little escape
I am so tired of being me
I wanna be free, I wanna be new and different
anything I'm not.

I will never be, I will never be you, no
I will always be, I will always be me, that I know
but oh, even though I'm happy being me
I want to get away from all this harsh reality

give me a break, a little escape
I am so tired of being me
I wanna be free, I wanna be new and different
anything I'm not

--Lenka

PS : it almost feels like she was feeling the exact same way I am. Then again, this is just a song.

Welcome to My Life

Do you ever feel like breaking down
do you ever feel out of place
like somehow you just don't belong
and no one understands you?

Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio turned up so loud
that no one hears you screaming?

No you don't know what it's like
when nothing feels alright
you don't know what it's like to be like me

to be hurt, to feel lost, to be left out in the dark
to be kicked when you're down
to feel like you've been pushed around
to be on the edge of breaking down and no one's there to save you
no you don't know what it's like
welcome to my life

do you wanna be somebody else?
are you sick of feeling so left out?
are you desperate to find something more
before your life is over?

are you stuck inside a world you hate?
are you sick of everyone around?
with the big fake smiles and stupid lies
while deep inside you're bleeding?

no one ever lied straight to your face
and no one ever stabbed you in the back
you might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
everybody always gave you what you wanted
you never had to work it was always there
you don't know what it's like,
what it's like

--Simple Plan

PS : a pretty selfish song, not to mention a mainstream cliche. but pretty close to reality right now.

Stop Crying Your Heart Out

Hold up, hold on.. Don't be scared.
You'll never change what's been and gone
May your smile shine on
Don't be scared.
Your destiny will keep you warm.

Cos all of the stars were fading away
Just try not to worry, you'll see them someday
Just take what you need, and be on your way
and stop crying your heart out.

--Oasis

PS : I have a never-ending love for this song. It always appears in the best films, and always brings out my emotions everytime I hear it. I think it's a self-supporting song for me.

Hell and Bliss

To explain the madness of you
to complain of the sadness involved with knowing you
to forget the revolting thought of going through
the regret and the healing that I'd have to do

Through my eyes the sky is pretty and
you promise you'll join in the flight
but I can't deny the gritty thought
that you can't take the height

You can look at this as one big fall
life won't be both hell or bliss or it can be nothing at all
so I just ask you now to choose,
don't you think it's worth it--even if you lose?

How do I begin to speak
when actions measure true feelings
though your words do leave me weak,
your movements always leave me kneeling

The true test of time is distance
but I am not willing to see
I won't damage with nonsense
what actions show is meant to be

Through my eyes the sky is pretty and
you promise you'll join in the flight
but I can't deny the gritty thought
that you can't take the height

You can look at this as one big fall
life won't be both hell or bliss or it can be nothing at all
so I just ask you now to choose,
don't you think it's worth it,
even if you could still lose?

-Majandra Delfino

PS : this song also brings back memory of Roswell. oh, I love that series.

Dreams on Fire

You are my waking dream
You're all that's real to me
You are the magic in the world I see

You are the prayer I sing
You brought me to my knees
You are the faith that made me believe

Dreams on fire
Higher and higher
Passions burning bright on the pyre
One spark forever yours
Give me all your heart
Dreams on fire
Higher and higher

You are my ocean waves
You are my thought each day
You are the laughter from childhood games

You are the spark of dawn
You are where I belong
You are the ache I feel in every song

Dreams on fire
Higher and higher
Passions burning bright on the pyre
One spark forever yours
Give me all your heart
Dreams on fire
Higher and higher

-A.R. Rahman ft. Suzanne

beautiful, beautiful song.

Seven Things

I probably shouldn't say this
But at times I get so scared
When I think about the previous
Relationship we've shared

It was awesome but we lost it
It's not possible for me not to care
And now we're standing in the rain
but nothing's gonna change until you hear, my dear

the 7 things I hate about you

the 7 things I hate about you
you're vain, your games, you're insecure
you love me, you like her
you make me laugh, you make me cry
I don't know which side to buy
your friends, they're jerks
and when you act like them just know it hurts
I wanna be with the one I know
and the 7th thing I hate the most that you do,
you make me love you

and compared to all the great things
that would took too long to write
I probably should mention
the 7 that I like :

the 7 things I like about you
your hair, your eyes, your old Levi's
and when we kiss I'm hypnotized
you make laugh, you make me cry
but I guess that's both I'll have to buy
your hand in mine
when we're intertwined everything's alright
I want to be with the one I know

and the 7th thing I like the most that you do :
you make me love you..

--Miley Cyrus

PS : as cheesy as it sounds, it rings true.

Is It Wicked Not to Care?

Is it wicked not to care when they say that you're mistaken
Thinking hopes and lots of dreams that aren't there?
Is it wicked not to care when you've wasted many hours
Talking endlessly to anyone that's there?
I know the truth awaits me
But still I hesitate because of fear

Skipping tickets making rhymes
Is that all that you believe in?
Wearing rags to make you pretty by design
Rusting armour for effect
It's not fun to watch the rust grow
For it will all be over when you're dead

Counting acts and clutching thoughts
By the river where the moss grows
Over rocks the water running all the time
Is it wicked when you smile Even though you feel like crying
Even though you could be sick at any time?

But if there was a sequel
Would you love me as an equal?
Would you love me till I'm dead

--Belle & Sebastian

Here Comes UAS

Setelah hampir 2 minggu gue absen dari dunia pergosipan (baca: Facebook), akhirnya gue kembali. FB canggih ya sekarang? Chatnya udah bisa diatur appear offline to some, trs notificationnya to the point skrg, bukan muncul merah2 di pojokan lg. hihihi. Norak deh gue. Hm. It's not gonna be a long visit, I'm just checking on some things. Lalu gue akan absen lagi karenaaa jengjeeng! UAS akan menyita perhatian gue. Apalagi dengan banyaknya tugas, gue rasa nggak akan selesai kalo gue fesbukan mulu. AYO 3,9! Hahahahaha.

PS : hari ini mau nonton Angels & Demons, setelah kemarin gagal total gara-gara penuh di mana-mana. Imagine me sprinted from Pejaten Village to Citos wearing 7 cm wedge shoes (or was it 9?) just to find out that everything's full booked. Well, I didn't actually sprint, but it's not an exaggeration, it felt like I did.

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,
and I say it's all right

Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter
Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
and I say it's all right

Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
and I say it's all right

Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...

Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,
and I say it's all right
It's all right

--The Beatles (duh!)

In Repair

Too many shadows in my room
Too many hours in this midnight
Too many corners in my mind
So much to do to set my heart right

Oh, it's taking so long, I could be wrong I could be ready
But if I take my heart's advice,
I should assume it's still unsteady
I am. In repair.

Stood on the corner for a while
To wait on the wind to blow down on me
Hoping it takes with it my old ways
And bring some brand new lucks upon me

Oh, it's taking so long, I could be wrong I could be ready
But if I take my heart's advice,
I should assume it's still unsteady
I am. In repair.

And now I'm walking in the park
All of the birds they dance below me
Maybe when things turn green again,
it will be good to say you know me...

--John Mayer, In Repair.

I Wrote It in Bed With My Eyes Half Closing.

My eyes aching
I whine all the time.
Maybe I'm just worn out.

Have you ever think that?

And I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad.
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had.
I find it hard to tell you cos I find hard to take.
When people run in circles is a very, very mad world.
--Mad World, Tears for Fears