Forgive me for being forward, but God loves colors. It is proven in all His creations, all the different types of insects, of mammals, of fishes, of bacterias, of everything! Then why, oh why, do we defy God's will to preserve those differences in one big harmony that completes one another in His grand design?
Al acknowledge within her heart that every single piece in this giant puzzle is unique. This, she didn't learn the easy way. It took most of her high school era, throughout her college life. There's no low or high, things are just different. But like all the differences there is, this piece of mind she couldn't share with everyone else.
A certain part of her life insists to be more like her. It's flattering, sure, but at the same time, it's bothering her. Because now she has to live with discontentment coloring her world. She doesn't go well with discontentment. For her it's just a relentless journey that leads nowhere.
"Why would anyone try so hard to be someone else, when they can use their time and energy trying to be the best of themselves?" she whispered to the void.
As the gentle fall breeze strikes her cheek, she tries to understand it all. "And why do I have to be the one preaching when it's really not my responsibility?"
She thought about the voice again. Pan. He hasn't been around. No matter how hard she tries to think of him, he never shows up. It's like, he evaporated through the air she breathes and becomes a part of herself, always telling her what to do. But she'd like to hear his voice again. To know that certain things she knows are actually real.
Why am I always the one to blame? To take responsibility? To be tough, to be... able? For once in my life I want to take a back seat, to see where the driver's going and really trust him that he would bring me to places I will most enjoy. Sometimes, there's a great chance I really desire to be taken care of, for a change.
-Alana Stidenick
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